I told my girlfriend she ordered too much at her birthday dinner
DEAR ABBY: Yearly my girlfriend and I take one another out for dinner on our birthdays and convey a present. This yr, despite the fact that I’m at present experiencing monetary hardship, I purchased her a present and supplied her dinner.
On the restaurant, she ordered the biggest portion of what she needed. She said it’s what she at all times orders in that restaurant. I responded that she at all times takes half of it residence, and that I had supplied to purchase her dinner for that evening, not for 2 days. She bought very offended and mentioned I used to be ruining her birthday.
She then mentioned she’d pay for her personal meal. I declined her provide and paid, however now I’m questioning if I used to be unsuitable. She did pay for half the appetizer, which I didn’t need or eat, and she or he left the tip. Ought to have instructed her earlier than we went out to dinner that I used to be on a tighter funds? Can our relationship be saved? — LOSING IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR LOSING: Robust relationships thrive when there may be sincere communication. You and the Birthday Lady have been seeing one another for an prolonged time period. If cash is tight, it is best to have talked about it lengthy earlier than her birthday rolled round. Sure, she ought to have been conscious of it earlier than you invited her to dinner. As a result of she wasn’t, I can perceive why she might need been postpone by what she could have interpreted as a snide remark relatively than a cry for assist. Can your relationship be saved? Sure, so long as you two actually begin speaking to one another.
DEAR ABBY: I’m in my early 40s. I’ve reconnected with a woman I dated in highschool. Issues are fantastic. I’ve come to grasp that she was “wronged” by different males greater than as soon as within the years in between. However I’ve additionally discovered it was occurring throughout our relationship as teenagers. I can’t cease ripping myself in half for not realizing it was occurring and doing nothing to cease it. I wasn’t broken; she was.
I’m hesitant to do something that makes her revisit her ache, however it’s one thing I can’t let go of. I’m not certain how I ought to proceed within the current, in order that I don’t let the previous injury a future that appears so vibrant. May you please give me a girl’s viewpoint? — CAUTIOUS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CAUTIOUS: Perceive that you simply and this girl have been very totally different individuals once you dated greater than 20 years in the past. I think my viewpoint is just like what you’ll get from a person: Should you plan to proceed with this romance, the 2 of it is best to get a minimum of six months of {couples} counseling from a licensed skilled.
So much has occurred to you each within the intervening years since highschool. There was nothing you might do to cease something that occurred. She was a prepared participant in these failed relationships. Your future together with her will likely be brighter as soon as you realize one another higher as adults, which is able to contain frank communication on each of your elements.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
