The unknown-unknowns of sharing our kids on social media


I haven’t seen my buddy Sarah for over a decade; we taught in Cambodia collectively within the early 2000s, which looks like a lifetime in the past.

Which, in a means, it was, as a result of each of us have married and had kids since then.

Social media nonetheless has saved us shut, which is why we each shared fun when she lastly met my kids this summer time.

“So that is what they appear like,” she exclaimed, “I’ve by no means seen their faces!”

Regardless that I’m a social media over-sharer, I’ve by no means posted images of my kids’s faces on the Web; not even on a non-public Instagram or Fb account. 

Once I was pregnant and located myself formulating our household’s social media coverage, I believed concerning the well-known quote from former Secretary of Protection Donald Rumsfeld in 2002 about supposed weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. 

“There are identified knowns; there are issues we all know we all know. We additionally know there are identified unknowns.  However there are additionally unknown unknowns—those we don’t know we don’t know. And if one appears all through the historical past of our nation and different free international locations, it’s the latter class that tends to be the troublesome ones.”

I thought-about this angle once I thought of expertise and the way rapidly it strikes.


Year ago former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld spoke of the world's great "unknown unknowns" when describing former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's supposed weapons of mass destruction. The same thinking applies to how we should approach exposing our children on social media.
Years in the past former Protection Secretary Donald Rumsfeld spoke of the world’s nice “unknown unknowns” when describing former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein’s supposed weapons of mass destruction. The identical considering applies to how we must always strategy exposing our youngsters on social media.
AFP by way of Getty Photos

There have been “identified knowns” — the issues I already knew concerning the evils of social media.

That it’s dangerous to psychological well being — an area the place rampant bullying and cruelty happen with abandon. 

Then there have been identified unknowns: How may my children really feel about my social media posts someday? Would they develop as much as be over-sharers like me, or much more non-public, like their dad?

There have been, additionally, unknown unknowns. When my daughter was born nearly 10 years in the past, there was no such factor as AI.

However on the pace at which expertise was shifting, who knew what digital nefariousness may lay forward?

Immediately, we’re arriving at these solutions.


Mark Zuckerberg faced a barrage of criticism and accusations of hypocrisy for failing to reveal his daughters' faces in a July 4th Instagram post.
Mark Zuckerberg confronted a barrage of criticism and accusations of hypocrisy for failing to disclose his daughters’ faces in a July 4th Instagram publish.

In late April, a Quebec man was sentenced to a minimum of three years in jail for creating “deep-fake” pornography by superimposing the faces of children taken from social media onto the pictures of kids being sexually exploited. 

In the course of the sentencing, provincial courtroom choose Benoit Gagnon mentioned, “The usage of deepfake expertise in prison fingers is chilling. The kind of software program permits crimes to be dedicated that would contain just about each youngster in our communities.” 

Maybe nobody has a extra far-sighted window into the unknown unknowns of social media than Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg. And the way he handles social media and his personal kids is instructive: He doesn’t present their faces. 


Heather Armstrong, who passed away in May, was one of the first "mommy bloggers" and posted much of her children's lives online. Her daughter, Leta Elise (r) has called into question the wisdom of growing up on social media.
Heather Armstrong, who handed away in Might, was one of many first “mommy bloggers” and posted a lot of her kids’s lives on-line. Her daughter, Leta Elise (r) has referred to as into query the knowledge of rising up on social media.
CHAD KIRKLAND

In a July 4th Instagram publish, Zuckerberg hid his older two daughters’ faces with emojis, prompting anticipated — and maybe comprehensible — cries of hypocrisy. 

However right here’s the factor: It’s lower than Zuckerberg to guard our youngsters — it’s as much as dad and mom.

And so as to take action, many people must radically reassess how and what we share about our youngsters on-line.

The hazard isn’t simply of predators utilizing our youngsters’ images. What we are saying about our little ones additionally has untold penalties: It may hurt them socially, romantically, professionally or different unknown unknowns. 

Take into account sharing a baby’s developmental or bodily challenges publicly.

Certain, we might search reference to different dad and mom going through related struggles; we might want sympathy and understanding from our private {and professional} circles.

However quick ahead 20 years. 


Owing to advances in AI and other digital technologies, online bad-guys are now able to create "deep-fake" porn images pairing real kids' faces with fake kids' bodies.
Owing to advances in AI and different digital applied sciences, on-line dangerous guys are actually in a position to create “deep-fake” porn photographs pairing actual children’ faces with pretend children’ our bodies.
Shutterstock

Might a possible love curiosity or employer examine little Billy’s grade college tantrums and fear that, whereas he appears good, has a hidden explosive mood?

Might posting about Sally’s coronary heart surgical procedure at five-years-old lead a medical health insurance firm to refuse protection many years later; citing the posts as proof of pre-existing circumstances?

For NPR just lately, 19-year-old Leta Elise Armstrong —the daughter of the just lately deceased mommy blogger Heather Armstrong — shared how rising up on-line impacted her.

“I used to be a bit of pissed off as a result of, like, I’ve all this content material being put of me on-line and typically it’s not even correct. It’s simply embarrassing,” she mentioned. 

The NPR report went on to elucidate, “Leta’s additionally desirous about how this digital footprint will observe her. ‘​​I believe it’s scary to assume that, like, I might be judged off of that.’”


Placing your kids on social media may appear cute today, but the information it reveals could be used against them in the future.
Putting your children on social media might seem cute at present, however the data it reveals may very well be used towards them sooner or later.
Shutterstock

We merely have no idea what may occur to a era of kids like Armstrong who’ve had their complete childhoods documented on-line. 

Sure, there could also be a profit for fogeys, however what are the advantages for kids?

The reply is evident: There are none. 

We have now identified knowns, identified unknowns, and maybe scariest: unknown unknowns.

And all of them level to conserving our youngsters offline — not simply off of their very own social media apps and gadgets, however ours, too. 

Bethany Mandel is the co-author of the current e book Stolen Youth: How Radicals are Erasing Innocence and Indoctrinating a Technology.”