DEAR ABBY: I’m a teenage woman who has not too long ago found I’m bisexual. I advised a number of shut buddies, and I’m completely satisfied to say they’ve accepted me. Nothing has modified. I’ve not advised any of my household but. I do know my dad and mom will help me, however the issue is 2 of my 4 siblings. They consistently tease and taunt me, name me names and decide on me.
I’ve been raised to face as much as bullies, and I’m principally assured with myself. I’ve introduced up their bullying to my dad and mom a few instances, however after self-discipline from my dad and mom they maintain doing it. They’re clearly homophobic, and I do know they may tease and decide on me much more if I come out to them.
I need to inform my dad and mom, however I’m afraid it is going to inevitably result in my siblings realizing. I don’t assume if my youthful siblings knew they might care, however they could be confused or weirded out because the idea is international to them.
Ought to I attempt to persuade my dad and mom to not say something to my siblings till later? I don’t need to disguise, however I don’t need to be pushed to melancholy, low vanity or worse if my vocal homophobic siblings know and chastise me about my sexual orientation. — NEW LGBTQ+ MEMBER
DEAR MEMBER: Your siblings usually are not essentially “homophobic.” They might simply get a kick out of creating their youthful sister uncomfortable, and no matter punishment they obtain isn’t enough to curb the issue. Whether or not your dad and mom expose it, your sexual orientation will turn into obvious eventually, so don’t hassle hiding. You could have buddies and oldsters who help you. Dealing with destructive feedback out of your immature sibs will provide you with the arrogance to deal with others sooner or later.
You might need to think about becoming a member of a LGBTQ-friendly youth group for added help. Your dad and mom can discover methods that can assist you by contacting a company referred to as PFLAG (pflag.org). It’s the primary and largest group for LGBTQ folks, their dad and mom, households and allies. You’re an clever teen who’s within the technique of discovering who you’re, and for that I applaud you.
DEAR ABBY: During the last yr and a half, I’ve been in a relationship with somebody I’ve identified for a lifetime. He’s married however engaged on getting a divorce. He has promised we are going to do issues collectively as soon as every thing is settled. There have been a number of latest deaths in his household, together with a grandchild who was killed by a drunk driver.
Till every week in the past we talked each day, when he advised me he wanted a while to assume and get every thing straight. I supplied to return the issues of his that I’ve. He mentioned to not, and repeated that he simply wanted a while. His household has leaned on him for years. I’m certain he’s overwhelmed. Ought to I wait and see what’s subsequent or mend my coronary heart and transfer on? — STANDING BY IN THE EAST
DEAR STANDING BY: As you’re most likely conscious, I’ve printed many letters from girls who had been strung alongside far longer than two years. Again off. Give him six months to get his head and his life straight and to get that divorce filed. If nothing has modified by then, you’ll have devoted solely two years of your life to the affair, and you need to transfer on.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
