Actual squares in Oval Workplace
We had the non-thrilling debate.
Every wore blue go well with and pink tie. That’s how particular person, completely different and artistic all of them had been. The lone bones not in that outfit was Nikki Haley and she or he isn’t going wherever.
From Day 1, America’s leaders didn’t come off as big-time heroic. Neglect Plato. Neglect even Clint Eastwood. From Day 1 right here’s america of America’s conga line:
They had been OK
George Washington. All proper already with chopping that silly cherry tree. His picket enamel opened to liken the election to an “execution.”
John Adams so liked politicians and the enterprise of governance that he gift-wrapped it as “social gathering malevolence.”
1808. Little Tommy Jefferson, 5-feet-4, weighed lower than a Kardashian boob and received referred to as shrimp-like names.
James Madison. He created The Non-Intercourse Act. What that signified in his private life, who is aware of. It meant the US can’t negotiate with some nations.
1816. From delivery James Monroe lacked pizazz. His supporters received likened to a mishmash mess on the verge of passing on.
Not very good
Joseph Cummins’ 2007 e book “Something for a Vote” referred to as Andrew Jackson ruthless. His spouse’s mattress itch additionally received him often known as a bigamist. Jackson’s marketing campaign? Bitchy. Nasty. Title-calling. Neither candidate even despatched a mazel tov to the opposite after the election.
John Quincy Adams barely received. And who cared. Historical past charges him a distress. No matter that meant in his private life, who is aware of.
Martin Van Buren made it the 12 months Samuel Colt received his Colt revolver patent — for which we’re so grateful — so who the hell cares what Van Buren did.
1840. William Henry Harrison. What occurred to him I additionally don’t know. I wasn’t truly there. However e pluribus unum. Everybody was urinating on everybody.
1844. Newspaper precise quote on good James Polk: “A ridiculous, contemptible forlorn candidate.” And people had been his praises.
Getting higher
Franklin Pierce fought within the Mexican Battle and was a boozer and opponents at all times introduced up that he fainted when he was on the entrance.
1858. Lincoln. Who’s already had a city, a automotive, a penny and a statue named after him. And, like Donald, ditched attending his presidential debate. So, possibly Donald may even find yourself with a city, a automotive, a penny and a hole-in-one named after him.
1868. Ulysses S. Grant. Not cuddly even in addition to overcoming that first title. Ulysses truly instructed a reporter to get misplaced as a result of he needed to make a practice.
James Buchanan. By no means married. Andrew Jackson who additionally wasn’t such a cuddly soul referred to as him “Miss Nancy.”
SO: Depart or not it’s identified {that a} magician and a politician are the identical. They each con the general public. The distinction mainly is that when a magician does it our taxes don’t go up.
Yet one more thought: With Adam Bullschiff, Bragg and Jerk Smith creating so many troubles, if Moses schlepped down from the Mount in the present day, the tablets he’d carry could be Tylenol.
Solely in America, youngsters, solely in America.
